Who Wants Your Photos?

It'll be fine.

A month or so ago, a friend and I saw Clairo at the Franklin Music Hall in Philadelphia. Clairo, for those that don’t know, is a jazzy indie pop singer with tremendous Brooklyn vibes, a beautiful voice and haunting lyrics—it’s not a surprise that she’s one of my top artists this year¹.

Anyway, I was excited to see her and she was great … but the actual show was a fiasco. I never sound older than when I’m talking about concerts, but stay with me for a second.

Five or six people passed out over the few hours we were there, which has become an epidemic as of late, at least among the sad pop genre. Maybe it’s because they’re starving and purposefully not drinking any fluids so as to get near the front or maybe I’m a jinx, but it felt like the Hunger Games in there with 20-somethings dropping like flies. It seemed like everyone was alright at the end, so I feel comfortable saying that this kinda destroyed any and all momentum and just made everything feel off. It’s tough to enjoy a concert when there’s a medical emergency every 20 minutes. Also, the actual venue was flat and I’m (how do you say it nicely?) not very tall, so I was on my toes trying to see over tall people, outstretched hands and cameras throughout.

This brings us to my main complaint: Cameras and phones. Put them away. Take a photo and then put your phone in your pocket and live for a millisecond. I get that you want to Instagram this later—I took some photos to do the exact same thing—but at a certain point, you’re living vicariously through your own objects. Are you really going to go back and watch these grainy videos from afar?² How often are you scrolling through your concert pictures? Who is this for?

To make matters worse, people forget where they are when they’re on their phones. At one point, because I’m (as we’ve already established) short, I had to stand on my toes to actually see Clairo. Then, I dropped down so that my heels could also touch the floor and bam, I landed on the WAY-TOO-CLOSE amateur videographer behind me trying to get the shot on their iPhone.

My man, MOVE back. Or at least buy me dinner first.

Now, the crux of the matter: This too-long rambly prologue is my way to get into what has become my least favorite part of movies, which should be one of the best. Watching with an audience.

Although I said that I would be leaving Twitter, I still scroll through incessantly and get mad constantly, especially at the above post in which many have commented with their own photos from inside the theater.

I thought we were well past this. Do we need classes on proper etiquette? I’ve bitched many (MANY) times on how bad phone use has gotten in theaters, especially since COVID, but the worst of us have become even bolder in taking photos of the screen or of themselves watching the movie.

not only does using your phone at the movies show a complete disregard for everyone else at the theater, it also deprives you of the single best part about going to the movies: being in a big special room where you’re not allowed to use your fucking phone. -David Ehrlich

I hate to break it to you idiots, but the movie you’re seeing is the same as everyone else’s. At least with a concert, you’re getting an individual experience. If you’re watching Wicked in theaters, you’re watching the same Wicked as someone else in a different state. Have we all forgotten how movies work? Also, this will all be streaming and on physical media soon enough and you can just buy it or watch it whenever you want. Once again, are you actually going through and showing off photos of movie screens? I feel like I’m going insane.

Although the Wicked chaos has been the one going mainstream (some have even started singing in theaters³), this is far from a blockbuster problem. A bunch of us recently saw the beautiful Indian drama All We Imagine as Light at Lincoln Center and things were equally as bad: Some were on their phones throughout, others used flashlights after getting to the theater 15-20 minutes late and one jerk took a(n accidental flash) photo of the title card on the screen.

The worst of humanity is starting to show at theaters, which is a real bummer because a locked-in movie theater loving a movie is one of the best feelings there is. If you’re going to take a photo, just stay home. It’ll soon be on your TV and you can take all the photos your heart desires. The problem is that you’ll have no one to show them to.

1. A legend

2. No. No, you’re not.

3. Jesus Christ!