Jonah Hill Is The Messiah?

"And then this guy. He's short and insecure, and he's probably good with money."

I was watching Superbad semi-recently, and not once during its entire run-time did I look at Jonah Hill and think that this kid would one day save race relations in America. And yet, here we are.

“Watching Jonah Hill in 21 Jump street made me like Jewish people again”

As you can see from the screenshot above, I didn’t change a single word or capitalization there. This is a real thing that Kanye West posted that definitively shows that we’re living in a world scripted by a Mad Libs generator.

Now, I like Hill as much as the next guy, but I really didn’t see this one coming. This totally makes up for Netflix’s You People as I can listen to “Runaway” without feeling like a traitor.

I do wonder what scene got Kanye over the anti-semitic edge. I’d like to think that Ye was lounging on his loveseat watching 21 Jump Street and then after laughing once or twice at Hill’s nebbishy awkwardness, he pulled up the Google Machine to see who this youngster is.

“Oh, he’s Jewish??” Kanye would most likely say disappointedly. But because he already rented this movie for $3.99 on Amazon, he decided that he would finish the comedy up.

And then this sequence happens, and Kanye West has to hand it to Jonah Hill. This is a masterclass of comedic acting.

Do you think Kanye had seen 21 Jump Street before? I mean, the movie is from 2012. What was the impetus for watching it now? Did he follow it up with 22 Jump Street? Arguably the better of the two.

Do you think he had a Jonah Hill Movie Marathon? So many options. He has that Hall-of-Fame scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. He’s been Oscar-nominated for Moneyball and The Wolf of Wall Street. However, I wouldn’t recommend Don’t Look Up as that may make Kanye anti-semitic again.

Do you think Kanye’s trying to be nice to the Jews again because someone told him that his music was a bar-mitzvah staple? The residuals must be dropping if 13-year-old boys (or I guess men according to our religion) aren’t rapping to “Stronger” while awkwardly glancing at their crush from across the dance floor.

As you can see, I have so many questions that only Kanye can answer. Well, I guess I’ll ask him at synagogue.

Since this is the Jonah Hill Post, I wanted to write about a few of my favorite lesser-known performances of his. Yes, we can discuss Superbad, 21/22 Jump Street and his more-serious fare until the cows come home, but the man has quite the catalog. Also, I don’t have anything else to write about right now, so here we go.

Hail Caesar!

This is an extended cameo more than anything, but Hill’s so good in these small sequences opposite Scarlett Johansson. Also, this movie has quietly risen up my Coen Brothers ranking, so jot that down if you’re keeping track.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

In a movie that features the best of Jason Segel, Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Russell Brand and Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill is one of the most memorable parts of this Hawaiian descent into hell. Obsessed with Aldous Snow, Hill’s character is constantly making things uncomfortable in the best of ways.

Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot

I don’t think anyone but me and like five other people saw this movie, but Jonah Hill’s great in it supporting Joaquin Phoenix. Phoenix plays real-life cartoonist and quadriplegic John Callahan and Hill plays his AA sponsor.

Accepted

This guy has (deservedly) been nominated for TWO Oscars. And he converted Kanye West. What a career.

One last thing: Do you think Kanye’s going to do Birthright soon?