The Worst Movie Of The Year (So Far) & Some Other Things
We really need Netflix to take a timeout, and figure out what it wants.
I accidentally scheduled a double feature for myself on Sunday.
Tired after going out two nights in a row (ooh la la), I decided to sleep in, and when I woke up I turned on a movie. That movie … The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Why exactly did I watch this grimy and bleak detective thriller at 10 in the morning? I’m not sure. But I did.
I’m not breaking ground here when discussing a David Fincher movie from 12 years ago, but it’s very, very good. It stars Daniel Craig in potentially his best performance and Rooney Mara in a shapeshifting portrayal of a deeply damaged and brilliant woman at the center of it all. As Harry Styles might say, this movie “feels like a movie.”
Then I went to the gym—a lot of backstory here for no reason—and some plans afterward fell through, so I decided to check out You People on Netflix.
You most likely have heard of or have seen You People as it’s atop the streaming service’s charts and stars Jonah Hill, Eddie Murphy and Julia Louis-Dreyfus. It’s a dud from start to finish, half-assed in all respects other than the critical iMovie-esque montages on L.A. that would receive a C- in any high school video production class.
It’s not an anomaly for Netflix to make a movie this bad; it’s the norm. There’s a similar sheen when it comes to these straight-to-streaming films. It’s lowest-common-denominator trash but tenfold.
I’m not expecting When Harry Met Sally or even 50 First Dates here from all new rom-coms, but You People is such a lazy, algorithm-filled slog that seems handmade to be as bland as possible to as many people as the service reaches.
The jokes are old hat, including an extended bit that feels like a rip-off of one of the greatest TikToks of all time.
When a movie with Murphy and Hill is getting out-thought by a tween on social media, it’s time to take a look at the damage you’ve wrought.
The jokes are bad, sure, and the plot has been done time and time again, but the filmmaking itself is the real low point with this, and plenty of other Netflix movies.
I’m not comparing You People director Kenya Barris to Fincher, as that would be cruel, but after seeing both of these movies in one day, it’s very obvious that one has an idea of what it wants and the other is just grasping at straws.
I mean, watch this laughably unfunny scene in which Hill and Sam Jay discuss Drake for some reason. There’s no movement or camerawork. It’s just shot-reverse shot-medium shot over and over again. It’s absent of any creativity in the comedy or desire to keep you invested.
When watching a comedy as uninterested in itself as this one, I think back to one of the first YouTube videos I watched that attempted to explain the difference between strong comedic set-pieces and lame ones.
There’s a real art to visual comedy, and if you’re going to cop out and keep things simple and monotonous, you better have good goddamn jokes.
There are two types of Netflix movies: ones vying for awards from good to great filmmakers and the worst shit you’ve ever seen. You People is at the bottom of 2023 so far for me, but I’m sure there are plenty of other Netflix properties that I haven’t checked out yet that might be able to battle it when it comes to junk.
For a company that’s trying to force its users to stop sharing passwords, Netflix doesn't seem to be keeping up its end of the bargain. Maybe spend some time on making better things, and you’ll get better returns.
You People is terrible and you shouldn’t watch it, but if it makes Netflix feel any better, at least they’re not putting out this.
Hulu, how could you?