Why Are Movie Posters So Boring?
I answer the question everyone has been asking and then dive into some assorted thoughts.
Perhaps this is just a me thing, but walking past theaters and stopping and staring at posters is a fun and pleasant way to spend a few minutes.
I’m not much of an artist—just ask my middle school art teacher who asked me what I was a drawing … it was a boat—but I do appreciate it when things look cool.
What exactly does that mean? I don’t know.
But you know a movie will have a better chance at being good when it’s evident that some thought and care went into its poster. It’s like the age-old mantra that you should always judge a book by its cover.
We’re still early in the film year, but we already have a few great ones amidst the crud…
There’s little rhyme or reason, and very little connecting these posters. They’re just striking images that make me want to see the movie, no matter what it’s about.
Although the ones above are all-over-the-place and compelling, the norm is (unfortunately) very much not that. It’s a poorly-done photoshop collage with one big head and a bunch of smaller heads circling around it or just a bunch of evenly sized heads facing each other (see below). You’ve seen these before; it’s the go-to superhero and action retread image. It’s as bland as feasibly possible and ridiculously uninteresting. It’s also ubiquitous in today’s day and age.
I often complain about this to friends and whoever’s sitting next to me on the subway, but I figured that instead of complaining, I’d look into why these seem to be everywhere and where it all went wrong.
It seems that with the slow death of movie theaters (exacerbated by the pandemic), there’s a large percentage of people that will only go for an event. This can be easily signified by a plethora of stars on one poster, even when someone—for example, Zendaya in Dune—is barely in the movie. It’s almost a Pavlovian training at this point: lots of celebrities—> must be important—> need to see on big screen. I find this a sad existence, but it is what it is.
Although that seems to be the major explanation, there were also two other reasons that stood out to me.
People are seeing movie posters in different ways now. Instead of more stagnant marketing, the majority of images are seen in quick bursts on digital screens, so the quickest way to get the point across is to use big images featuring bankable actors instead of going a more artistic route. It also allows a quicker understanding that you’re looking at a poster for a movie if you’ve become conditioned into seeing that set-up and immediately thinking that it’s for a movie.
The international box office matters more than ever. It’s interesting how well the Indian Telugu-language epic RRR has done, and it shows a real cultural crossover using Netflix as the hub. It certainly goes the other way too with American movies doing as much as they can to reach all clientele, especially when it comes to blockbusters. Simplifying the poster art ensures less work when it comes to translating what things mean. It may be difficult to understand a more specific reference, but everyone knows that a picture featuring Chris Pratt means that you’re going to get a special effects bonanza that will be at best ehh and at worst ugh.
Assorted Thoughts & Takes
I don’t really have any big things to write about, but I do have a bunch of small ones about movies I’ve seen recently or that are on the way that I feel that I should write down. It’s a grab bag!
I saw some reviews claiming that The Bob’s Burgers Movie is just an elongated episode and nothing special. I agree with the first sentiment, not the second. It’s a delight. And I’m glad that the writers went a little more risqué than the uber family-friendly route they’ve been on recently. Linda is an icon.
Watch RRR on Netflix. It’s been described as an “epic” and that may be putting it lightly.
Crimes of the Future is pretty good. Kristen Stewart is incredible in it. I love how she’s purely picking roles that are challenging, fun and/or bizarre. Every line-reading is a trip. Good for her.
There will be a Jordan Peele/Nope piece on here at some point this summer. I can’t wait. Original storytelling with a horror bent. Peele is the closest thing we have to Steven Spielberg right now (except for Steven Spielberg, of course).
If someone says that they didn’t like Men, I would totally understand it.
These two are stars. Fire Island on Hulu has semi-pointless narration and goes on a little too long but it’s miles better than most movies that premiere on streamers. Love dueling Marisa Tomei references.
Anyone attacking Rachel Zegler is going to hell. Hope she gets cast in everything forever.
There’s a movie coming out next week called Cha Cha Real Smooth about a bar-mitzvah host with Dakota Johnson as one of its leads. I thought you should know that.
If Greta Gerwig makes a great Barbie movie, she should win a Nobel Peace Prize and a Pulitzer. An Oscar wouldn’t be enough.
Anya Taylor-Joy may have the best taste of anyone working in the movie industry.
I still can’t find any Buncha Crunch.
