In early elementary school, some friends and I decided to play wall-ball. Quite simply, you throw the ball at the wall, and if it hits you on the way back, you have to touch the wall before the ball does. Well, I got hit and was running towards the wall when I was tripped by Keith Baron (it’s okay, it’s not totally his fault), and to put it non-graphically … I slammed the front of my face into the wall.
There was blood—quite a lot of it—and a good deal of freaking out from the afterschool daycare volunteers. Eventually, I got it all cleaned up and went back out there to keep on playing, my shirt crusted with dried blood.
When my mom got there to pick me up, she looked at me and immediately announced that my nose was crooked. Which apparently isn’t good.
In the decades since, I’ve had three nose surgeries for deviated septums (and the works), with the most recent one coming just last week, due to dangerously bad sleep apnea. My Northwell chart reads “Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty w/ laser & Open SMR & Turbinate Reduction, bilateral (Need CO2 & Diode Laser).” And in the week since, I haven’t been able to do much other than lounge around, sleep on and off and watch a lot of movies.
I may have gone a bit too far, but that’s what happens when I have time off from work, don’t see any friends and can’t go out for a run. In a little over a week, I ended up watching 14 movies. And because I have a newsletter on movies, it only feels right to write reviews/takes/how it played with my family for each film:
8/4: Strange Days
This is a 1995 sci-fi thriller, directed by Kathryn Bigelow and starring Ralph Fiennes. Why exactly did I pick this? I have no clue. I’ve always wanted to watch it, but I was also still pumped up full of anesthesia, so it was a joint decision between me and drugs.
Anyway, I really liked it. Fiennes never disappoints and Bigelow (obviously) has the juice when it comes to action directing. It reminded me of Minority Report mixed with Red Rooms. Probably not a hit with my mom, due to the violence, but I think my dad was pretty invested. I only remember him falling asleep a few times.
Regardless, 4 stars from me (all of these are out of five, by the way), despite the bizarre start.
8/4: All of Me
I’m fairly certain this was a recommendation from The Big Picture podcast, from a semi-recent Steve Martin discussion. And I’ve got to say, this was a failure across the board. I love Steve—he’s maybe the funniest person who’s ever existed—but this body swap genre clash has too much on its mind and is a bit exhausting, after a pretty entertaining opening act.
Apparently, it’s only 93 minutes, which is kinda nuts, since it felt like we were on hour three for the last 20 minutes or so of this one. I’m blaming this one on the nose. They can’t all be good.
2.5 stars
8/4: Fantastic Mr. Fox
A classic of classics. I threw this one on late to get All of Me out of my mouth and also because I just love looking at it. Were I to ever get high—well, I guess it’s legal now—this would be my go-to watch. And perhaps I’ve done that once or five times.
This Wes Anderson stop-motion masterpiece is up there with the best things he’s ever done. Like all of the director’s works, it’s a wry comedy on found family and wanting to be more than yourself. Put simply, hell yeah. That’s 5 stars from me every time.
8/5: The Rock
This is a Jake recommendation and one that I mostly liked. I feel like I’m extra picky when it comes to action movies because of 1. I feel like I’ll zone out if there’s meh choreography/cinematography and 2. Because I’m an asshole.
All in all, my dad and I had a solid time watching this. It’s Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage in a Michael Bay thriller; at the very least, you’re gonna have takes. It’s ridiculous and goes on maybe 15 minutes too long, but it’s still ultimately a win. 3.5 stars from me.
8/5: 22 Jump Street
When this movie released in theaters—12 years ago … Jesus Christ—I would’ve put it up there with Jaws and The Godfather and whatever else. I think I stopped breathing when Channing Tatum found out about a certain family connection. Anyway, this isn’t a masterpiece, but it’s still pretty fun.
It was on TBS or FX or one of those channels and I ended up watching it. Because you’re allowed to do that. Four stars. Too bad Jonah Hill’s kinda insane now.
8/5: A Most Violent Year
A methodical crime drama starring Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain set in New York in the early 1980s? Hell yeah.
This is one of those movies that I’ve had on my watchlist for years and have just never gotten around to due to streaming struggles or just putting something else first. I loved it, and I’m fairly certain my dad stayed awake for its entire runtime. 4.5 stars from yours truly.
8/5: Carolina Caroline
I wish this was a little bit better, but I still enjoyed this 2026 Bonnie and Clyde-esque caper starring Samara Weaving and Kyle Gallner. This one’s at its best when everything’s moving and the duo is flirting/figuring one another out. It tries to go a little deeper and doesn’t totally pay off, but I was still locked in throughout. Weaving’s the best; I hope she continues to make these mid-to-low-budget thrillers in between X-Men films. That’s a clean 3.5 stars from me. Also, my nose was really annoying during this one, so do with that what you will.
8/6: The Strangers
There’s a Letterboxd review on this from critic Fran Hoepfner that The Strangers has a bit of an “improv everywhere feel,” and that feels about right. This horror house-invasion movie didn’t do much for me and felt pretty long for its less-than-90-minute runtime.
To be fair, I didn’t watch this in peak conditions; it’d probably work decently well in a theater. Instead, I turned it on while my mom was on a Zoom upstairs, but even the quiet moments (in our house) didn’t really have me focused. A disappointing 2.5 stars. Apologies to Liv Tyler.
8/6: Sideways
“Are you still seeing that shrink?”
“I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.”
This is a road-trip dramedy starring Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church from Alexander Payne. Like A Most Violent Year, it’s a movie I’ve had on my watchlist for years and years but only got around to post-surgery for some reason.
I still prefer The Holdovers and probably The Descendants, but I’m a sucker for a moody riotous comedy in which Giamatti tries to figure his life out. The two protagonists have incredible chemistry, and although this gets a bit out-there, it’s still 4 stars from me.
8/7: Road House
No one told me how insane this movie is. I’ve seen references and allusions over the years, but I thought this was like a buddy action comedy … not a Die Hard x Jackie Chan violent action thriller.
We enjoyed it for what it is, but it definitely overstayed its welcome a bit. Perfect movie to throw on and have some fun with, in between chugging Gatorade and popping Tylenols. 3.5 stars
8/7: The Muppet Movie
Let me be clear: I love The Muppets. They’re a cultural institution. But the 1979 action comedy directed by James Frawley isn’t going on my must-rewatch list. It’s bonkers that Steve Martin, Elliott Gould, Madeline Kahn, Charles Durning and Orson Welles all made time for The Muppets, but also they deserve it. *whispers* 3 stars
8/8: Confess, Fletch
I’ve been in the middle of a Mad Men rewatch as of late, which is the best show ever made and easily clears everything on TV right now. Also …
Anyway, I love Jon Hamm and had a blast watching him play a loveable loser in this Fletch remake/retread/re-whatever. It’s a fun little murder-mystery. And although it’s nothing special, it knows exactly what it is and executes it perfectly. This would be an ideal plane movie. 3.5 stars from me. Roger Sterling forever.
8/9: Sicario
Sometimes, you gotta toss on one of the most evil movies in recent history. Sicario, directed by Denis Villeneuve, is a beautiful and truly cruel masterpiece centered on the escalating drug war between the U.S. and Mexico. It stars Emily Blunt as an in-over-her-head FBI agent, as well as scene-stealing (awards-worthy) performances from Josh Brolin and Benicio Del Toro. I can’t say this is a great idea to watch post surgery, but I did it and what’s done is done. Five stars if you want to feel bad, no question.
8/10: 13 Going on 30
Maybe the opposite of Sicario, 13 Going on 30 is a lovely 2004 fi … why am I explaining 13 Going on 30 to you? You’ve most likely seen this Jennifer Garner-Mark Ruffalo rom-com. And if you haven’t, you should.
It’s a delight and probably the best for-the-family movie we picked all week. Saved the best-ish for last. Four stars for the movie, five stars for the dress.