We Have To Talk About It
Movies are SO back. Feuds, custody papers and spitting(?) bring cinema to the forefront of culture once again.
On my Notes app, I have a list of things that I want to write about at some point. Some are connected to certain dates. Others are rankings I want to put together. A few are suggestions or just random questions that I think could make a good post. And one just says “Nicolas Cage.”
The plan this week, since we’re in the doldrums of the movie calendar, was to pick one of those topics and just go. Unfortunately (or very, very fortunately), life got in the way and delivered us one of the most intriguing, dense and more chaotic stories in recent history.
Let’s discuss Don’t Worry Darling, a movie that is testing the mantra of “all news is good news” and is missing a comma that infuriates me every time I read the title.
It constantly feels as if television has eclipsed movies. People like watching from the comfort of their own homes, and an hour followed by another hour is somehow an easier watch than two hours straight. Movies breaking into the mainstream culture is rarer and rarer, however, this Olivia Wilde production has certainly become the only thing that people can talk about. I’ve received so many texts asking me what the hell is happening. People want to know, and I’m the insane person who loves the middle of the Venn Diagram of celeb chaos/gossip and movies.
I’ll try to recap everything in one sentence, but be warned that this is certainly a run-on and there’s no way that I can truly break down everything even if I was given a full book to jot my thoughts down.
Don’t Worry Darling is an upcoming psychological thriller starring Florence Pugh and Harry Styles directed by Olivia Wilde in which Wilde and Styles began to hook up on set and this happened during or right after Wilde’s break-up with Jason Sudeikis (who also served her custody papers while Wilde was speaking at a film convention) and then Pugh became infuriated with her director’s actions on set and also Pugh’s ex was good friends with Sudeikis so maybe that played into her animosity and Styles is in the center of an ongoing debate about sexuality (he’s also had a not great press tour) and also Wilde’s first choice for the Styles role release was Shia LaBeouf who is known for his antics on set and Wilde said she fired him but then LaBeouf released a video showing how that was not the case and also in that video Wilde seemed to disparage Pugh and then Pugh’s stylist used one of those remarks in an Insta post and now Pugh is doing minimal press for the movie and she seems to be keeping her interactions with her director at a minimum and also there are rumors that Styles and Wilde have broken up already and it seems like everyone was on pins and needles during the Venice premiere of the movie waiting for something to happen and Pugh left the theater during the movie’s standing ovation and also Styles maybe (but probably didn’t) spit in Chris Pine’s direction.
Phew.
About halfway through that sentence, I realized that I still had a long way to go and this must be what everyone involved with this production must feel like.
I can’t remember anything like this. There have certainly been chaotic sets from Mad Max: Fury Road’s daily death-defying stunts to Mark Wahlberg and Burt Reynolds getting into a fight on the Boogie Nights set to director David O. Russell blowing up at Lily Tomlin and calling her a c***.
Jesus…
That’s bad but in terms of a full cradle-to-grave run for a movie, nothing seems to match Don’t Worry Darling.
The film came out with middling reviews, which makes the entire thing funnier. All of this hubbub didn’t even produce something that’s going to last. The rumors and gossip are going to last long after the actual product, and frankly, I’m doing my part in talking about this drama as much as I possibly can. It’s incredible stuff.
Okay.
Now that we’re through all of that, let’s get to the question on everyone’s mind.
Did Harry Styles spit at Chris Pine?
This is our generation’s Zapruder film. Was there a second spitter? It’s what social media was made for. At the movie’s premiere, as Styles sat down, it looks like the pop-sensation spat in front or even on Pine. There are countless videos and angles that have made the Internet dive into this conspiracy with all of its might.
Pine’s rep said that he wasn’t spat on, but isn’t that exactly what someone who was spit on would say? Something to think about there…
As fun as this all is, I’m ultimately (and unfortunately) landing on a resounding no on this one.
It doesn’t seem in character for Styles who released a song called “Treat People with Kindness” and has made it his mission to push inclusivity and empathy. There’s no positive that could come out of this and also he’s never not on camera. He knew what would’ve happened if he actually did something like this.
Also, there’s just no actual spit. Watch the video again. It’s a kind of weird head nod that seems to have happened at the worst time.
Also also, if he did actually spit, Pine would have retaliated in one way or another, one would think. You can’t get spit on and just sit next to the person who did that to you for an entire movie. You just can’t.
This is the theory that seems most likely to me at the moment. Pine wanted to nap during the movie—tough look for Don’t Worry Darling—and couldn’t find his sunglasses until he eventually located them in his lap. It was just terrible timing.
Well, terrible timing for Pine, Styles and Wilde. Incredible timing for the world at large.
And that’s what I have to say about that.
Quick Programming Note: There will be a pod on this drama with a very special guest—she knows who she is—upon this movie’s release. We haven’t even scratched the surface on this one.
Who could the special guest be