Things I'm Thinking About Thinking About

A bunch of random things.

Some quick housekeeping for the six of you actually reading: I’m going to try to get you Oscars Predictions early on next week, which might be a little tough since I’ll be going to Florida for work, which is a weird thing to type but is true nonetheless. Also, we’ve hopefully got some good podcasts coming. Never a better time to subscribe! Anyway, before that, I have a lot of random/obscure movie thoughts I want to get into, which is what this post will be. Like always, it’ll be pretty dumb, so that’s something to look forward to.

Eight Narnias

As much as I love Greta Gerwig—and boy, do I love Greta Gerwig (I have a shirt with her name on it and everything)—I can’t say I’m not a bit worried about her two upcoming movies with Netflix centering on the Narnia world. There was already a bit of back-and-forth regarding the films’ release strategy, which is kinda scary to think of a Gerwig movie skipping the theatrical model and now the IMAX CEO gave the following quote to Deadline:

“This was a really great movie [for us] because I think there are like eight movies planned … and what Imax does best is launch franchises and launch events, [and] this is the kind of movie that is very conducive to an Imax release.

It seems like Gerwig is signed on for just two movies, but do we really need another Harry Potter-esque never-ending series? Of course, Harry Potter is coming back too, because it never ends. This feels like Netflix going after another blockbuster venture, which is something it’s been able to do with television shows to varying degrees: Stranger Things, Squid Game and Wednesday for example. But the streaming service hasn’t been able to crack the code when it comes to film series … other than The Kissing Booth, I guess. Haven’t watched, won’t watch.

Good luck to Gerwig. Hope she doesn’t get stuck in the Netflix Machine. Would love another original Lady Bird-type story, but she made a Little Women masterpiece and a pretty solid Barbie movie and I’m just typing on a computer, so who am I to say anything?

The Rock Is Trying

My main problem with The Rock’s movies is that they’re not very good. He seems like a nice enough guy and pretty entertaining screen presence, but his choices from Red One to the Jumanji remakes to Red Notice to Black Adam all feel as if they’re written by AI and filmed with a one-week time limit.

It does seem like Dwayne Johnson has figured out that he can’t just make streaming sludge for the rest of his life. It may have taken a while, but we’ll take any wins. The Smashing Machine, directed by Benny Safdie, is coming later this year starring Johnson in the world of MMA, and it was just announced that he’ll be in a new Martin Scorsese picture along with Emily Blunt and Leonardo DiCaprio. Nothing but respect for The Rock who seems to have made a U-turn into making actual movies.

My Captain America: Brave New World Review

Bad. Not good. Boring. Supposedly just 118 minutes apparently, but it felt like three hours. Picked up a wrap beforehand, easily the best part of the movie.

It does feel like the tide has turned with Marvel in general. In the past, the cinematic universe’s bad movies were treated with kiddie gloves and it seems like that’s dropped. When something’s not good, people will actually say it. I also found it really interesting that a hit piece from someone who worked on the movie dropped before it even officially came out in the States. That never would’ve leaked (at least that early) for previous movies.

I worked on the reshoots. I think everyone on the crew knew this is probably not going to be a good film. Some of the action sequences were not believable. We had a lot of frustrations on set. After principal photography was finished, it was like, “Oh, we’re going to introduce the leader of the Serpent Society.” It was on, then it was off, then it was on again. That’s very expensive to do. My co-workers who spent more time on Brave New World than I did said, “Yeah, this has been a really rough production.” -Vulture

Well, they were right.

James Bond Is Probably Over

There was a pretty stunning report the other day that Amazon MGM Studios will gain creative control of the James Bond franchise. This comes not long after a bombshell WSJ report in which Barbara Broccoli, longtime producer and shot-caller for the franchise, Barbara Broccoli called the Amazon execs “f*cking idiots” for their “Marvel-style” ideas to push the Bond lore.

It’s not shocking that Amazon is trying to create its own franchise after buying the James Bond studio, but it’s a real bummer that Bond is about to be marketed out of the wazoo and run into the ground the way these things always are. Although the movies are hit-and-miss, I liked the rarity of a Bond film and the emphasis on the theatrical experience in that the movies came out every few years, centering on the whims of a few crazy family members. Casino Royale is a hell of a movie, and I hope we get some magic like it again. I’d bet against it though.

Paddington

I know I just said that I’m sick of sequels but I’ll watch 1,000 movies of this little guy. It’s probably my least favorite of the three Paddington movies and yet Paddington: Lost in Peru is delightful. I just love that damn bear and his kindness and the actors who show up and have the time of their lives.

Olivia Colman, Antonio Banderas and Hayley Atwell all drop into this one, and this movie series is perfect for guest stars. Here are a few ideas about future ne'er-do-wells.

Ayo Edebiri as an American star (thinking Julia Roberts in Notting Hill) who shows up and accidentally/maliciously brings Paddington into the limelight

Colin Farrell as a British crime boss looking to take over the marmalade world

Daniel Kaluuya & Keke Palmer as siblings (again) who need Paddington for a globe-trotting scavenger hunt

Jessie Buckley as a singer who becomes obsessed with Paddington as a good-luck charm

Annette Bening & Saoirse Ronan as a mother-daughter wildlife historian team who need Paddington to finalize their research

---

That’s that. See you next week, I think.