The Most Jewish Jewish Movies
🎵 Hava nagila, hava nagila, hava nagila ve-nis'mecha 🎵
There’s a small sequence in (the perfect movie) Airplane in which an elderly woman asks for something “light” to read. She is then handed a leaflet by the stewardess documenting Famous Jewish Sports Legends.
This is a perfect joke.
It’s also the smallest sliver of a tremendous history of Judaism in cinema. As you’ve likely seen by now if you’re traversing the internet in one way or another, Jews control the media. That includes Hollywood, which we’re more than happy to run. Thank you very much.
A culture plagued by height challenges, minimal athletic ability and a love of complaining when it’s two degrees colder than expected doesn't make much sense in sport, but it does come in handy when writing a script or telling other people where to stand in front of a camera.
One of the better movies so far this year is Cha Cha Real Smooth, which is as Jewish as a bagel with lox. It centers on an early-20-something right out of Tulane (of course) who backs his way into becoming a bar-mitzvah starter/dancer. It’s funny, heart-warming and appropriately anxiety-inducing … a staple of the religion and genre. You should watch it as Cooper Raiff is a tremendous up-and-comer and Dakota Johnson is getting better and better with each project.
Cha Cha’s debut is as good a reason as any to dive into Kosher Cinema, movies by Jews for Jews that goys can also go to, I guess.
Oh, also, we’re skipping Holocaust movies because this is more about the idea of Judaism than actual Jewish history movies. This is not to say that Inglorious Basterds or Schindler’s List or Jojo Rabbit or The Pianist or a laugh riot like Sophie’s Choice are not worth a shoutout. They are. And I just gave one to all of them. Let’s move on.
P.S. That Sophie’s Choice line is a joke. Just making sure about that one.
Let’s start with a recent one: Shiva Baby. This 78-minute comedy is a film revolving around a college student with no clue what she’s doing. That’s Jewish. It’s a dark comedy. That’s Jewish too. And it features a smorgasbord of things to nosh on. Jewish! Although not of the tribe, Rachel Sennott is given an honorary pass as she portrays our culture’s love for being anxious and running around while exhausted at a mastery level. A good rule of thumb is that if Fred Melamed is in your movie, it’s kosher as hell.
Its most famous scene takes place in Katz’s Deli, When Harry Met Sally is automatically on the list. Any movie that can make Billy Crystal look like a serviceable leading man is not only a masterpiece but a Jewish miracle. They talk about the Knicks and live on the Upper West Side and wear warm sweaters in autumn. All things that our people love to do.
To be honest, I don’t think I’ve seen this one since around the time of my bar-mitzvah, but the fact that I remember watching this around my bar-mitzvah should tell you everything. This is an exposé into the inane teenage parties in the same way that Going Clear breaks down Scientology. It features bar-mitzvah envy and parents trying to out-wealth each other.
“Jewish Training Day” otherwise known as Uncut Gems features Adam Sandler in one of his better performances as a jeweler in the Diamond District with an unhealthy love for sports gambling and a hatred for letting anyone relax for a goddamn second. This one really goes to show you that Jews can be the villains in their own stories too. Self-hatred. That’s Jewish.
Just look at this guy and tell me he’s not one of the chosen people. Maybe the Coen Brothers’ most underrated movie, A Serious Man begins with a Yiddish-language Dybbuk horror sequence and gets more and more frightening from there. It’s not explicitly a thriller but it certainly is if you were brought up in Judaism. Michael Stuhlbarg is incredible here, as is Richard Kind. And yes, we have Fred Melamed once again.
This isn’t just for Spaceballs but just every Mel Brooks movie in perpetuity. Even the non-Jewish scenes are Jewish in execution. Just the dumbest possible jokes you can imagine on the biggest stage. He’s our messiah, and we’re all the better for it. Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, The Producers, History of the World, Part 1 and The Producers. Put his photo up in synagogues.
Perhaps the only ritual more 21st-century Jewish than bar/bat-mitzvahs is that of going to summer camp. Based on going to Jewish sleepaway camps, this satirical comedy is not just ridiculously funny but features one of the more loaded casts you’ll ever see put together. Janeane Garofolo, David Hyde Pierce, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Bradley Cooper, Paul Rudd, Christopher Meloni, Elizabeth Banks, H. Jon Benjamin and many many more make for the ideal summer camp experience.
Jews love to sing about the possibility of being rich one day. I do it once a week.
I wouldn't call Cha Cha Real Smooth particularly Jewish. Cooper Raiff (writer/director/star) isn't Jewish, nor is Dakota Johnson. Perhaps more importantly, their characters aren't Jewish either. They just live in an area with a decent-sized Jewish population.