Oscar Noms: I Have Some Thoughts
You may not believe this, but ya boi (I am ya boi) has a few takes.
Year in and year out, I’ll watch the Oscar nominations announcement and then wait for a bunch of articles to state their winners and losers. I’ve always found it a bit lazy to shrink everything down to such binary results.
Like, come on. This is the biggest thing there is—it definitely isn’t, but let me have this—and it seems cowardly to just be like, here are a few things that did well and some that didn’t.
With that said, here are my Winners & Losers:
Winner: Andrea Riseborough(‘s agent)
I can’t believe it worked. I actually made an audible gasp when it happened. Andrea Riseborough got a Best Actress nom.
If you’re wondering, I wrote about this star-studded late-breaking campaign and the conspiracy behind it last week.
Anyway, Riseborough skipped the usual awardsy theatrics and just went straight to what matters: having Gwyneth Paltrow and similar Hollywood royalty say nice things about her.
It’s one of the more shocking noms in recent memory, especially when considering that her movie To Leslie made around $30,000 at the box office and had a limited theatrical run and near-immediate on-demand streaming release.
I haven’t seen the movie yet, so I can’t judge the caliber of acting, but it just goes to show you that Kate Winslet saying that you’re a good actor means a lot more than the entire awards rigamarole.
Loser: Everyone who saw Blonde
Congrats to Ana de Armas on your nomination. You were great at playing Marilyn Monroe and I truly wish you nothing but the best. Now … I cannot say the same for Andrew Dominik and Blonde, which is an abysmal, poorly-constructed and frankly gross movie that shouldn’t have received any awards recognition whatsoever.
I’m not surprised. de Armas is beloved by the Academy and what’s more Oscars than a biopic that sucks, but it is a bummer to see personal favorites like Viola Davis and Margot Robbie miss the cut for a serious movie that has multiple fetuses, and at least one talks.
In summary, Blonde is not good. de Armas should get better parts. And The Paris Theater needs better seats because my back was killing me after three hours of watching this movie on the big screen.
Winner: Everything Everywhere
I know there’s been a backlash of sorts on Twitter to this movie, but one thing you always have to remember is that Twitter sucks.
Everything Everywhere All at Once was one of the best movies of 2022, and it’s fucking bonkers that a movie that spotlights Asian Americans, hot-dog fingers and an everything bagel as a thinly-veiled metaphor for depression and despair is LEADING Oscar nominations.
Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan and Jamie Lee Curtis making the cut is exciting, but I was truly thrilled for Stephanie Hsu sneaking into Best Supporting Actress, something that I thought was a longshot.
This movie has a real chance of winning the whole damn thing, and that in itself is a miracle.
Winner: Me
Not bad at all. Good job, me.
Loser (but not really a loser): Babylon
Babylon rules. I think about it all the time. I love it so much. It may not have made it into the Best Picture lineup, but it’s okay.
Do you know what else didn’t make it into Best Picture? National Treasure.
Do you know what movie everyone loves? National Treasure.
Babylon is a national treasure and just wait until it starts to pop up on the Best of the Decade lists.
Take it away, Oscar nominee Justin Hurwitz.
Thank you.
Winner: Movie Theaters
It was a tough year for streaming services in the awards race, and that’s totally fine with me. Netflix is down from 27 to 16 noms and lost the most-nominated crown to Disney.
This isn’t a shot at movies on streamers. I greatly enjoyed White Noise, Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio, Glass Onion and plenty of other movies from Netflix (and its ilk), but it’s nice to see voters gravitate to movies that can be seen in theaters. After Avatar: The Way of Water’s dominance and more niche fair like M3GAN starting 2023 strong, it feels like moviegoing is in a relatively decent place.
Winner: Brian Tyree Henry
This was the one non-Riseborough nom I truly didn’t see coming. To be honest, I haven’t seen Causeway yet. Nothing against the movie, but my Apple TV+ subscription ran out and there was just other stuff that I prioritized.
Brian Tyree Henry is one of the best actors we have, and I’m excited to watch his first Oscar-nominated role. I’m not totally sure where this one came from, as the movie had minimal fanfare and few Academy hopes, but it’s very, very cool.
He’ll be back again, I’m sure.
Loser: Everyone who hasn’t seen Decision to Leave
One of the best films of 2022, it’s really odd seeing Decision to Leave not get a single nom. At the very least, it should be getting recognition at International Feature, but it missed this one too. It’s a detective murder-mystery love story that features some of the best acting and directing of the year.
Also, while we’re discussing snubs, I could write something very similar for Nope. It’s not shocking that such an idea-packed horror movie wouldn’t make the cut, but it shows a certain small-mindedness as it’s easily one of the best-crafted movies of the year, and it deserves both above-the-line and below-the-line looks.
Winner: Connell Waldron
My guy (and Phoebe’s former guy) Paul Mescal made it. It fucking rules. He’s phenomenal in Aftersun and deserves every plaudit he receives. It’s a small movie that is made with a ridiculous amount of empathy and regret that sticks with you long after seeing it.
There was a late push the last few weeks for Mescal and it’s just cool as hell that the Irish legend got in.
Also, while we’re here. It was a hell of a morning for Ireland as the country got 12 noms between The Banshees of Inisherin, The Quiet Girl and Mescal. I’m sure they’ll celebrate in an easygoing, very chill fashion without a single Guinness.
Winner: Gustav Mahler
Very nice of TÁR to give Gustav Mahler a boost. The composer’s been dead for over 100 years, but I’m sure Mahler appreciates the much-ballyhooed TÁR bump.
This movie is so goddamn good and Cate Blanchett deserves Best Actress. I don’t think it wins Best Picture, but it even being nominated there is awesome. Easily one of the best movies I’ve seen in the last few years.
Winner: Marcel
The little guy did it. Best Animated Feature! We all did it. Great job, everyone.
And with that … it’s time to begin the prognostications for the 2024 Academy Awards. See you soon.