Look Good, Feel Good
We love when actors are hot. That is all.
It’s sometimes very simple.
You don’t need cinematic universes or brand tie-ins or CGI galore. Every so often you just need two attractive people in a room yelling at each other, throwing shit and whispering witty dialogue back and forth. That’s what Sanctuary is, and Sanctuary is my not-even-June-so-we-have-plenty-of-time choice for the best movie of the year.
The psychosexual thriller stars Margaret Qualley and Christopher Abbott—both better-looking than you or I—in a battle of the wills that’s both fun and unconventional. Now, this isn’t transcendent or anything, but maybe an entertaining film in which two young stars are equally committed to going for it is what we need right now.
There’s plenty to be impressed by from the camera movement that makes the most of the limited space to the repartee that feels like a theatrical production on steroids, but what really matters is that Qualley and Abbott have tremendous chemistry and both look great when trying to gain the upper hand. In a cinematic landscape where sexuality is often sanitized in order to garner the approval of international audiences and a growing American requirement for conservative values to rule, it’s nice to see something fucked up that relishes in its fuckedupness.
What this brings up is a critical question that we’ve all thought about at one point or another: Who’s the hottest movie character? Now, I don’t have the time to answer such a demanding question, but I did reach out to some friends to see just who they would throw onto their list.
If I had to choose one—and I do, it’s my newsletter—my first thought is Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann in the Pirates of the Caribbean saga; she is not unattractive and could definitely kill you at any time. What does this mean exactly? Pass.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Here are some other picks…
Duke Leto from Dune
I’m going to attempt to rationalize the way my brain fully imprinted on Oscar Isaac to the fact that Dune was the first movie I watched in theaters during the pandemic. Duke Leto Atreides is set up from the get-go as deeply, to-a-fault, capital G, Good. He’s beloved by his people, a loving father to Paul, and so tender with Jessica. (Hands! The girlies get it!) We’re also blessed with Leto in military uniform, in a billowy sleep shirt, and entirely nude—unfortunately, spoiler alert, incapacitated and minutes before death, but we can still look and appreciate, ok? And there’s something about that Shakespearean doomed-from-the-start hero trope that makes you hope so hard that all signs leading to his demise are red herrings, knowing full well you’re just going to be hurt in the end. That beard, also a plus. -Antara
Capt. Rafe McCawley from Pearl Harbor
I like living in the 21st century, but I’d consider giving up my cell phone and the right to have my own credit card in order to go back to the early 1940s and meet Capt. Rafe McCawley, portrayed by Ben Affleck in the movie Pearl Harbor. He is so funny and dreamy and chivalrous and respectful, and I swoon every time he pops the champagne and the cork hits his nose. I also love that he is so loyal. He refuses to die even when his plane is shot down over the ocean because it would hurt his girlfriend, who, spoiler alert, is not quite so loyal to him. But I would be. And we’d live long, happy lives (save for the surprise macabre military strikes). Many years into our marriage, he’d support me in getting my first credit card. -Molly
Aragorn from Lord of the Rings -Jake
Mike O'Donnell from 17 Again
Look, my pick hasn't aged well in that he now looks like a child in this film to my late-20s eyes, but Zac Efron playing the teenaged version of Matthew Perry's character—name irrelevant—in 2009's 17 Again was peak male attractiveness to my 14-year-old self. The morning after what I can only assume to be Freaky Friday-adjacent shenanigans age him down and send him (back) to high school, Efron—again, character name irrelevant—emerges from his passably cool car in slow-mo, donning a leather jacket, black converse, and the swoopy, Bieber-esque hair that defined a generation (iykyk). And that, dear reader, is cinema. -Taylor
Manny from Babylon & Flynn Rider from Tangled -Alex
Amy March from Little Women & Dani Ardor from Midsommar (just Florence Pugh in general)
Breathtaking in every role, whether she’s meant to be “conventionally sexy” or is having Timothee Chalamet button up the back of her old ass corset dress or surrounded by cult flowers. -Nicole
Hot Lesbians in Period Dramas
After some back and forth, I decided that I couldn’t pick just one insanely hot movie character so I decided on more of a genre: hot lesbians in period dramas. And by that, I of course mean, “Carol” and “Portrait of a Lady on Fire.”
Cate Blanchett can be in any movie and I will lose my mind. I particularly loved when she played Lou, the velvet suit-wearing con artist in “Ocean’s 8” but I truly creamed my pants over Blanchett in “Carol.” There’s something about a wealthy 1950s housewife seducing her younger lover in a motel that has latched to my psyche so intensely that “sexual fantasy” is a lazy understatement.
Now “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” is set hundreds of years before in 18th century France but it still gives you the slow burn (pun intended) of reaching for someone you know you can’t have. Lesbian period dramas get a lot of hate because it typically means the star-crossed lovers don’t get a happy ending (cuz homophobia). But I hate to admit that the fear of getting caught only makes it sexier! I mean not in real life where they would face horrifying consequences but in this make-believe world where I get to watch Héloïse (played by Adèle Haenel) ask Marianne (Noémie Merlant) “Do all lovers feel they are inventing something?” before they spend their last night together! How is that for insanely hot? -Melanie
Okay, that’s really all I have this week. There’s A LOT coming though. Cannes Festival wrap-up thoughts, hype for Killers of the Flower Moon, a new Spider-Verse, emotionally-destructive movies à la Past Lives and what I should wear when I go to a live Q&A with Wes Anderson in a few weeks.