And The Worst Person In The World Is...
Me.
This is Aerial Shot. What is this? What does that mean? *make sure to insert another question to complete the rule of threes*
I’ll be writing about movies here. Or as we in the industry (which I’m not actually in) call it, FILM. It just seems like a waste to watch so much stuff and spend so much time reading and thinking about movies to not share my insane takes with the entire world. Sometimes I’ll write about new things, sometimes I’ll write about old things, sometimes I’ll write a lot of words on the forgotten classic Jumper.
“Why is it called Aerial Shot?” you might ask as a prompt for me to answer within the framework of a bland Q&A. The real A to that Q is … I don’t know. It sounded cool and I didn’t want to use a Gott pun. It sounds official. Like if you were at a bookstore—those still exist—and you saw a magazine called Aerial Shot, you would be like “Sure, that’s a thing about movies or airplanes that exists.”
And that’s what this newsletter will be. A thing about movies or airplanes that exists. Just the movies though. I know absolutely nothing about cars, let alone airplanes.
I want to start this off with a list. Because it’s bite-sized and readable and maybe you’ll peruse through and read some titles in bold. And that’s fine. A read is a read. Here are the five movies I’m most excited about in 2022. If you want to see everything I’m gearing up for, here’s a handy-dandy link.
White Noise directed by Noah Baumbach
Based on the Don DeLillo novel, this movie will feature Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig trying to survive “a cataclysmic train accident that casts chemical waste over his town.” I read the book years ago and still used Wikipedia for that small description. Driver will be playing a professor of Hitler studies. As one does. This is the thinking man’s apocalypse movie. Seems timely.
The Batman directed by Matt Reeves
This somehow comes out in like two months. It’s Robert Pattinson and Zoë Kravitz and Paul Dano and Colin Farrell (the god) in what seems to be a lower-stakes detective superhero movie. The trailer is kickass and I can’t pass up anything that feels like it’ll be “gritty.” It’s too bad Catwoman isn’t played by Willem Dafoe to keep the will they/won’t they from The Lighthouse going.
Disappointment Boulevard directed by Ari Aster
Supposedly, this is dropping in April despite zero stills or publicity or anything. It’s all very hush-hush and I would expect no less from Ari Aster. A fucked-up man with a fucked-up brain, Aster makes movies that I need to see. Midsommar and Hereditary are both hell yeses from me, and I can’t pass up a comedy horror starring Joaquin Phoenix with Nathan Lane (?!). I know nothing about his role, but give Nathan Lane an Oscar.
The Northman directed by Robert Eggers
I’m sorry if this is getting too A24-core, but sometimes you are who you are. The trailer for this movie is batshit insane, and I wouldn’t be me if I were to skip an opportunity to watch Anya Taylor-Joy in an Icelandic Viking epic. I’m planning to see this on as big a screen as possible. IMAX might not be big enough. May have to sit front row and take some MDMA and treat it like Coachella. Mom, I’ve never done MDMA before. I mean, I was too scared to drink alcohol until after high school. It just seems like something cool people would do.
The Worst Person in the World directed by Joachim Trier
Remember Spider-Man: No Way Home? Of course, you do. Everyone in the world saw it. I saw someone dressed up as Doctor Strange outside of my AMC theater. Well, this movie is that x100 for me. Not totally sure how I’ll dress up for this one; maybe I’ll wear a nice sweater. Norwegian Frances Ha, and a mystical and beautiful trailer to boot? This is a foreign rom-com atop the critics’ lists with an actress (Renate Reinsve) that I’m already in love with despite knowing nothing about her. I would be shocked if this isn’t everything I want it to be. No pressure, but I need this movie to change my life.
Breaking Things
This is a new segment. Every segment here is a new segment but just go with it.
This is where I complain about something that I’m upset with. It’ll be a word vomit and that’s that. My initial idea is to call this Breaking Things and use a gif from a movie in which someone breaks something. That’s my Ivy League education put to work right there.
This week’s thing that pissed me off is Kristen Stewart not getting a Screen Actors Guild nomination for Spencer. Let’s get into it.
What the fuck? How do you nominate four actresses in biopics—Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Chastain, Nicole Kidman, Lady Gaga—and not have Stewart in this list. I never saw Respect, so I’m not really allowed to pick on Hudson, but selecting Kidman, Gaga and Chastain is so uninspired, it almost becomes inspired again. Gaga is doing a Transylvania accent and is now on the Oscars trail pretending she’s Daniel Day-Lewis mixed with a Scooby-Doo villain, and Kidman and Chastain are doing Oscar-bait roles to the nth degree. It looks like Kidman is even the favorite now after her Golden Globe win and a rash of recent noms, and, geez, that’s a weak pick. She’s better in the AMC ads. I know that I liked Spencer more than most, but even if you’re lukewarm on the movie, I don’t see how you knock Stewart’s emotionally gut-punching performance. The fifth nom with the four mentioned above is Olivia Colman. Which is a fine choice. She’s great in everything.
Anyway, if I had to guess right now what the Oscars Five will be, give me Colman, Gaga, Kidman, Stewart and Rachel Zegler. Despite the SAG snub, I still see Stewart getting in there since she’s won too much at everything else, and I don’t think the Academy can pass up an ingénue in West Side Story like Zegler. Don’t screw this up, Oscars.
Okay, I went on too long this time, but this is what I’m planning to do week after week, most likely on Tuesdays. Come back soon. Hit that subscribe button. I'll see you when I see you.