ABC: Assorted Barbie Content
It's a Barbie grab bag. My ancestors would be ashamed if they could read this.
July 21, 2023.
This is when the double feature of the ages, Barbie and Oppenheimer, will be occurring.
The world will never be the same.
You may be asking: “Greg, why are you so obsessed with this upcoming Barbie movie?” And I’ll quickly retort, “Why aren’t you?”
It’s Greta Gerwig directing, Gerwig and Noah Baumbach writing, Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling starring and then seemingly every other actor you know and love hamming it up in neon pink. It actually looks like something, a rarity in the bleak blockbuster era we’ve come to know and love accept, and after Little Women and Lady Bird, I would follow Gerwig into the depths of hell.
Also … THE MEMES.
The rollout for this movie has been perfect thus far. A teaser alluding to 2001: A Space Odyssey, memeable posters that can be photoshopped incessantly, a longer trailer that makes you intrigued but still gives nothing away. This is a masterclass at promotion in an age where The Rock awkwardly stands on a beach to bring us an ill-conceived live-action retread of a movie we just saw. Don’t get me started on this Moana shit.
I have so many random thoughts, but first off, I don’t know why my friend keeps trying to bring yeet back.
Random Thought No. 1: The trailer not giving everything away is the win of all wins here. Like, sure, you can tell that Gosling’s Ken is going to go through some shit and Robbie’s Barbie may head out to the “real world,” but other than that, we only have some vague ideas about where this is all going. And I love that. Too many trailers break down the entire movie. I want intrigue, mystery and Will Ferrell as a businessman.
Random Thought No. 2: Margot Robbie is perfect for this role. Apparently, Amy Schumer was the initial choice before Gerwig signed on, and, umm, well … I prefer this. Especially with such a heightened reality, Robbie just makes so much sense here.
Random Thought No. 3: There was a whole thing about Margot Robbie’s alleged Letterboxd account giving away some Barbie plot details, and honestly this run-down just makes me more excited.
The Truman Show looks like it makes a lot of sense for a reality-bending tale and The Umbrellas of Cherbourg is a musical that pops with color. Combine the two and we have Barbie? Maybe?
Random Thought No. 4: Michael Cera.
With the unbelievable return of Justin Long in Barbarian, Michael Cera breaking through in Barbie is only right. Also, we saw Cera at my friend’s bachelor party in New Orleans and Cera definitely saw that we recognized him and wanted no part in it. What a legend.
Random Thought No. 5: I can’t decide on how the Oppenheimer-Barbie double feature should go. I initially thought to start with lightness and end with tragedy, but a friend suggested concluding with Barbie instead. I guess that makes sense, for someone that isn’t mainlining the newest boygenius album.
Random Thought No. 6: Greta Gerwig is a savant. I hope she makes movies forever. She brought Barbie back and made a film about a toy into a cultural conversation.
Random Thought No. 7: It’s nice to see everyone excited about the same thing. Maybe it’s just the little social media/friends bubble I’ve built for myself, but Barbie has been everywhere lately, and for good reason. Yes, it’s taking an old idea, but it’s using it as a starting point to build something compelling, interesting and fun. It’s been a while since we’ve had a movie that could be this big and this culturally impactful at the same time.
I’m going to see it on opening night. You’re more than welcome to join.